I wanted to come to you guys on a more personal note this week. I know some of you are probably like “girl, where are the clothes”, but I wanted to take a different route. Let’s talk about self-love. Self-love is important to every single person so, this post isn’t geared towards my usual audience, it’s for everyone. I hope by the end of this, you all find ways to progress in your self-love journey. Disclaimer: I’m not writing this post to brag about how great I am at loving myself because, to be honest, I suck at it sometimes. But I enjoy making my blog posts conversation pieces and if I learn something or feel strongly about something then I feel the need to share it with you all.
Self-love, in my opinion, isn’t just having a love for you, your body, your personality, etc. It’s doing what is best for you and your well-being. Whether that be mentally, physically, emotionally, religiously, or any of the other -lys. Putting yourself first and other people after sounds very selfish, but think about it this way, how can you give someone anything when you have nothing or very little. Parents, how can you give your children the best if you are completely worn out and have no give left? Bosses, leaders, managers, CEOs, how can you give your employees the best you, if you’re overextending yourself, overexerting yourself, just over everything? There is a reason why they tell us in the plane to put your oxygen mask on prior to helping something else. You cannot do it for others if you have not done it for yourself. Let me just say, I’m not talking about giving to your children or spouse or employees and you go without in a tangible sense. Understand the difference between sacrifice and self-love. Mentally, if you give and give and give, you will have nothing else. You have two kidneys, you can give someone in need one, but you keep one for yourself because you need it. The same goes for the rest of you. Give yourself those mental breaks that everyone needs. Slow down sometimes and take deep breaths, it seems like society is always on 10 or we’re always in a rush. If you need to go in your room and sit in the dark for a few minutes so that you can give your family the patience they deserve, then do that. If you have a stressful career and you need a spa day, do that too. It’s okay to take a break.
Self-love can also mean living life more, in general. It doesn’t always mean slow down. Maybe you’ve stopped yourself for experiencing all life has to offer. Maybe you live a very mundane life and haven’t taken risks. It’s okay to be adventurous and enjoy things. Do something different and do not worry about the opinions of others. Go on that vacation and do exciting things, get that tattoo, chop all your hair off, dance like no one is watching, do it all. Life is whatever you make it and the more interesting you make it, the better you’ll love it. Actively fall in love with life and you, it’s a ride that we all need to get on.
My self-love journey has been and will continue to be very trying. The hardest thing for me is saying “no”. I bet you didn’t think that was a form of self-love, did you? I am probably one of the most organized-disorganized people you will ever meet. My life is planned down to the last minute, but the plans never go the way I want. There is always someone that needs something and because I hate to disappoint people, I always say yes. I’ll agree to the task even if that means changing my entire schedule. I also have a hard time forgiving myself. We are our own worst critics. We are all hard on ourselves and never give ourselves the benefit of the doubt. I have made some minor but detrimental mistakes in my life, some that can be fixed quickly, something that can’t be fixed ever. Prime example, one that you might have heard before, I graduated from college at 24. I beat myself up for so long about the timeline and never gave myself the benefit of the doubt. During my first couple of years in school, I played around hardcore. I didn’t care about studying, I wasn’t focused and that pushed me back. I ended up having to take English 102 and got myself placed on academic probation. When I finally got myself together, I was taking 4 classes at a time and working full-time. I ended up graduating a semester before I was projected to. With all my hard work to get to where I am, I still feel like I could’ve been further in life if I had just focused on school more. See, the journey continues!
Below, I’m going to list some ways to love yourself. Let me know what you guys think!
- Learn to create your own fun, be okay with being alone and enjoy your own company
- Learn how to say a gentle “no”
- Be kind and forgive yourself, we all make mistakes
- Take a chunk of time every day to reflect on you
- Take a day off work, mental health days are real things
- Take a vacation to an unexpected place
- Take some time off from social media. We all know how this can affect us!
- Make a list of positive things about you
- Do not let a 5-minute transgression have a 5-hour effect
- Realize that you cannot control everything
- Say something positive to yourself every morning
- Keep a journal/write down goals and aspirations
- Talk to someone you trust